Ben May

Friends and family in North Carolina and Washington State are mourning the loss of Ben May, a Davidson native who had been living in Redmond, Wash. Mr. May had been missing since March 4. Friends found his body Saturday, March 13, while searching in a Redmond park, where police said he took his own life.

Friends started a Facebook group as the search for Mr. May continued over the past 10 days. Hundreds have posted photos, reminiscences and expressions of support for his family.

On Sunday, friends in Redmond started an informal memorial on a fence at the park where he was found, leaving flowers, notes, candles and photos.

And the Facebook page filled up with memories and tributes, like this one: “I can’t help but think it’s not just the family you’re born with, but also the family you make for yourself. Ben had a big biological family that he was proud of. But I feel like he also built family everywhere he lived, his friends became family too.” (Jessica Blackburn DeLucia of Charlotte.)

Mr. May, 31, was the son of Jamie May, a longtime administrator at Davidson College who now lives in Chapel Hill.

Ben May had been suffering severe depression and left behind a note, police in Redmond said Sunday. Friends who posted on the Facebook page also noted that Mr. May had been struggling with depression.

He was last seen on Thursday, March 4. The following day, his car was found at Perrigo Community Park in Redmond. Police Detective Brian Coats said Sunday that police were able to track signals from his cell phone to aid the search. The hunt continued in recent days, at one point using a helicopter and dogs.

On Saturday, friends organized their own search team and went back to Perrigo Park, where they found Mr. May’s body in thick underbrush. He took his life with a handgun, Detective Coats said.

About 15 people attended a prayer vigil Friday night, March 12, outside Davidson IB Middle School. On Saturday, friends posted the news on Facebook that Mr. May was gone.

The Facebook page, now titled “In Memoriam of Ben May,” has attracted more than 1,850 followers. Many have posted stories, memories and photos of Mr. May, who grew up on South Street and attended Davidson Elementary School and North Mecklenburg High School.

Mr. May was a 2001 graduate of Wake Forest University. He worked in financial aid at Wake Forest after his graduation, including a stint as the assistant director of financial aid from 2004 to 2007.

He moved to the Seattle area, and worked as a data management analyst at Starbucks Coffee Co. from March 2008 to June 2009.

Friends remember Mr. May as a “feisty, fun kid” and someone “who could make everyone in the room laugh.” Photos posted online show him as a young child with his familiar “bowl” haircut, at high school dances, playing sports and laughing with friends.

A college friend, Mistie Gudger Collins, wrote in a post: “Ben was one of the funniest and kindest people I have ever had the pleasure to know. Last night I found a picture of the two of us in Myrtle Beach. … Ben was playing the tambourine and everyone in the background was laughing hysterically. Although I am heartbroken at his loss, this will always be the memory I have of him – bringing joy and laughter to all who knew him.”

We’ll publish a full obituary and information about any Davidson memorial service when it becomes available.

LINKS

Facebook.com, “In Memoriam of Ben May,” the page has photos and memories.

March 14, 2010, Seattle Times, “Body found in Redmond Park.”

March 14, 2010, Redmond Neighborhood Blog, story and photos including information about the memorial at Perrigo Park.